remove the gratituous ending
from this shallow fantasy.
let me exist in the middle,
see the forest for the trees
and not the meltdown, pretend like
it won’t all eventually
burn
leave me in ashes
i am victim to her sinister skin
numbing my former intentions
i have no eyes for consequence
i will stay, shaky, in the present
i am ignoring the signs
this path
i’m running
along will
lead to
my demise
the walls still bleed her jade eyes
the weight of when i was trapped
in her midnight vise
(i still am)
blinded, stone-cold, and still i weep
strip my heart with a fountain pen,
the scalpel to her inky revenge
untangle her sorry mentality from mine
do not worry about the aftereffects
when i cease to be tangible, spill my regret
so i won’t be bothered to
when i come back down.
when i prove myself worthless, i can say
it was all worth it
at the time
when she catches me, i can say
it was dreadful in her arms
but i left myself nowhere else to go
–
written s17mar2013.
i remember a lot of caffeine being involved in the writing of this one. i was feeling floaty and staticky. buzzing, electric, anxious, manic.
–
idiography 