korey

flashlights and prescriptions

to the girl who thinks she looks stupid in rainbows, dusting her with a warm shimmer of hope like stardust in a madman’s grip-

to the girl who wears glasses with frames tied in knots by her stressful piano fingers-

to the girl with shock-red hair and an attitude just cocky enough to keep her opposition across the room-

to the girl who self-medicates, waking herself with vegan breakfasts and numbing her emotions with aggravated music-

to the girl who fends off desperation with a prescription bottle, holding it in front of herself like a flashlight pointing out the path to freedom-

to the girl who counts upwards with inked numbers all over her wrists-

to the girl who incessantly wonders why all the other girls are scared of her-

you simply need to learn to love yourself.

–

written w25may2011.

–

words don’t need beats

my well-worn pen
glides across
second-rate stationery
smoother than a
[well-rosined]
bow on a violin string

fingers maneuver it
easier than they maneuver themselves
across [ebony , ivory] piano keys

i’m happy
bouncing without a beat

my fingers
tremble [throw]
rainbows
across your
blackandwhite scales

i’m a spazz

i can’t keep
still
to
three-four and bee flat major

everything is
always
music

words don’t
always
need music

words need people

_{[i need people]}

–

written f20may2011.

i consider this to be the first good poem i ever wrote.

–

paper thin walls

the walls of this house hear more than you think
so shut your mouth and stop screaming
ignore your company
cause the way you talk is so demeaning

in case of emergency
don’t you try calling me
i’m already out the door

you think you’re so fucked up
well, take a look at me
i want you to shut up
and tell me what you see
tell me you’re bored as hell
be careful what you say
cause you can never tell
which words will get away

what do you mean you’re leaving me
you were never here in the first place
go and run off with him
i knew i never could trust you anyways

in case of emergency
don’t you try calling me
i don’t care anymore

drop the lies, and face your fears!
you’ve been spitting out the same lines for years!
drop the lies, and face your fears!
you’ve been spitting out these lines!

don’t tell me about shattered windows
when every pane is one that you shot out
between these paper thin walls
lies the cause of a broken house
every word you spit at me
acts upon us like matches held to flame
when you’re searching in broken mirrors,
make sure to tell me who’s to blame

…the kids aren’t alright…

–

written f20may2011.

again, not too proud of this one, but i was fifteen.

–

feathers

carrion birds perch off-screen
directing what the public sees
but in my mind, it’s just you and me
i can’t hear you anymore
mirroring my words between closed doors
but my lips repeat what you said before

your wings will guide me as i fall
your wings will guide me as i fall

i thought i heard you whimpering
but it was only the blank screen
my senses plead that this is all a dream
my feather headdress crowns me king
but it will never serve as wings
useless flutters drowned out your whispering

your wings will guide me as i fall
your wings will guide me as i fall

now i have started my descent
screaming the phrases that you bent
i know now there is nothing you really meant
and i won’t even start to try
cause no one hears my cries for life
there has been nothing since you helped me fly

your wings will guide me as i fall
your wings will guide me as i fall

–

written f29apr2011.

i’m not too proud of this one anymore, but i was fifteen when i wrote it, so…

yes, i’m aware of the first line’s similarity to the silversun pickups’ song “substitution”- that was the inspiration for this piece. i don’t believe it’s plagiarism because that’s the only similarity between the two songs.

–

dream of me

staying alive on borrowed time
with plagiarized words that sounded better in the mouths of heroes
like a smack to the face or a needle to the vein
you’re nothing special but you’re so shocking to me
the things you omit are often the most important
but we’ll all pretend it doesn’t matter and we don’t know
it seems so strange that your face
isn’t all over the tv

for bank robbery
or treachery
but your mockery
isn’t worth anyone’s time

you’re the worst crook i’ve ever met
so brag of your shortcomings but they haven’t gotten you anywhere yet
there’s a better way to fight off insecurity
but you don’t have your own dreams, you just dream of me

my false shadow, keep on your toes
you’re never watching for the shot you’ll regret
caught up head over heels in what you feel
you’ll end up the victim of another beatdown in the key of clichéd
rebelling ninetofive in an office block
and you still haven’t realized it hasn’t happened yet
so you stay up late ranting at your fate
vocalizing pointless bouts of your dissent

your whitewashed ears
don’t listen to our jeers
but your mockery
isn’t worth anyone’s time

where’s the role model you were looking for
i’ve got my foot propping open the door
always got your head in the crowds
drowning in the words you sing too loud

you’re hiding behind a façade
and i’ll expose you for your fraud

you’re the worst crook i’ve ever met
so brag of your shortcomings but they haven’t gotten you anywhere yet
there’s a better way to fight off insecurity
but you don’t have your own dreams, you just dream of me

–

written m9may2011.

–

justin

i.
there are no words for this.
there is no miracle combination of syllables
that will make you better
that will make you strong enough
to handle this.

ii.
never have my own issues
felt so belittled
a mere chemical imbalance
is nothing compared
to the hole ripped out of your universe

iii.
the way i dress now
is not a cry of defiance
but a symbol of mourning
these tears
are not me showing weakness
this is me paying my respects.

iv.
how can i think of myself now?
i do not deserve
to eat, to sleep, to smile
while you are suffering
so badly

v.
we can dedicate our lives to him
and it still won’t change the fact
that he’s gone.

–

written w11may2011.

in memoriam

–

wordless

she turns
sunlight glints over lenses over mocha eyes
chocolate hair
cut in a bob, sophisticated and daring
compared to her once-rapunzel-locks

she wears her favorite boots
and a smile
open as a dictionary and yet
i still can’t read her

she must have
a heart of steel
to put up with what i’ve dealt her
she is the page of cups
and i’m the nagging wild card
sneaking shuriken around every page turn

and yet she smiles through
the blood on her nimble calloused fingertips
counting one, two, three, four
while i sit in silence
streaked mascara and pulling hair
wondering which combination of words
will get me out of this one

she is the goddess of tolerance
and she deserves more
from me

–

written m25apr2011.

a birthday gift for a friend.

–

you’re hiding behind a façade and i’ll expose you for your fraud

you’re hiding behind a façade
and i’ll expose you for your fraud